I’m processing the reality that my time doing research in academia will end and, as part of this, I am fantasizing about the kinds of jobs I’d love to do if they existed. Here are some, with their imagined job postings (some of these are real jobs that exist, Yes I know, but they aren’t common yet or the actual postings would never be as honest as what I’m provding):
- Pandemic Planner for PT Victoria
Public Transport Victoria is hiring a new manager for its Pandemic Planning and Prevention department (PPP). The duties and time allocation for this position are as follow:
- 40% Prevention Program management: designing and managing the implementation of a pandemic prevention program that includes identifying when, where and how to sanitize all trains, trams, escalators, elevators, railings and myki stations, as well as deploying advanced air filtration systems.
- 40% Outbreak Response planning: designing a pandemic response plan and overseeing and ensuring the preparedness of PT Vic in successful execution of response plans. This includes organizing and executing drills and mock tram quarantines.
- 10% Compliance: Ensuring PT Victoria pandemic prevention and response policies and plans are consistent with state and federal regulations [har har har].
- 10% Coordination: Ensuring effective coordination of PT Victoria Pandemic response plans with allied agencies in emergency services, police, and government.
- Urban Building Recyclor, CityREcycle, Inc.
CityREcycle, Inc., is looking for qualified candidates to work in its Building Recycling team. You will be joining a group of passionate individuals who seek to make an impact in this rapidly growing field. The duties and time allocation are as follows:
- 60% Building Recycling: take apart abandoned buildings and categorize resulting materials for post-rummage processing. Involves use of heavy machinery and lifting up to 50 lbs of materials.
- 30% Material Reprocessing: sorting and sifting through materials pulled from abandoned buildings to ensure usability.
- 10% Compliance and Training: maintain up to date knowledge of regulations regarding building recycling; maintain training certifications in safe building recycling practices.
3. Regional Housing Needs Allocator (RHNA), San Diego Association of Governments
SANDAG is looking to hire someone to develop and apply a formula for assigning regional housing needs allocations for all our member jurisdictions. The duties and time allocation are as follows:
- 5% Utilizing Census, state and local data to develop formulas for assigning housing need allocations to each member jurisdiction.
- 5% Coordinating with the California Department of Housing and Community Development (HCD) to ensure compliance with state law.
- 10% Developing and executing a consultation program to ensure allocations are aligned with members’ existing transport, land use and housing plans, as well as stakeholder priorities.
- 80% Politely smiling as angry residents scream at you in public forums and town halls.
What are your dream post-ac jobs? (non academics’ ideas welcome)