Thrilling Alt-Ac Fantasy Jobs

I’m processing the reality that my time doing research in academia will end and, as part of this, I am fantasizing about the kinds of jobs I’d love to do if they existed.  Here are some, with their imagined job postings (some of these are real jobs that exist, Yes I know, but they aren’t common yet or the actual postings would never be as honest as what I’m provding):

  1.  Pandemic Planner for PT Victoria


Public Transport Victoria is hiring a new manager for its Pandemic Planning and Prevention department (PPP).  The duties and time allocation for this position are as follow:

  • 40% Prevention Program management: designing and managing the implementation of a pandemic prevention program that includes identifying when, where and how to sanitize all trains, trams, escalators, elevators, railings and myki stations, as well as deploying advanced air filtration systems.
  • 40% Outbreak Response planning:  designing a pandemic response plan and overseeing and ensuring the preparedness of PT Vic in successful execution of response plans.  This includes organizing and executing drills and mock tram quarantines.
  • 10% Compliance: Ensuring PT Victoria pandemic prevention and response policies and plans are consistent with state and federal regulations [har har har].
  • 10% Coordination: Ensuring effective coordination of PT Victoria Pandemic response plans with allied agencies in emergency services, police, and government.
  1.  Urban Building RecyclorCityREcycle, Inc.


CityREcycle, Inc., is looking for qualified candidates to work in its Building Recycling team.  You will be joining a group of passionate individuals who seek to make an impact in this rapidly growing field. The duties and time allocation are as follows:

  • 60% Building Recycling: take apart abandoned buildings and categorize resulting materials for post-rummage processing.  Involves use of heavy machinery and lifting up to 50 lbs of materials.
  • 30% Material Reprocessing: sorting and sifting through materials pulled from abandoned buildings to ensure usability.
  • 10% Compliance and Training: maintain up to date knowledge of regulations regarding building recycling; maintain training certifications in safe building recycling practices.


3. Regional Housing Needs Allocator (RHNA), San Diego Association of Governments

SANDAG is looking to hire someone to develop and apply a formula for assigning regional housing needs allocations for all our member jurisdictions. The duties and time allocation are as follows:

  • 5% Utilizing Census, state and local data to develop formulas for assigning housing need allocations to each member jurisdiction.
  • 5% Coordinating with the California Department of Housing and Community Development (HCD) to ensure compliance with state law.
  • 10% Developing and executing a consultation program to ensure allocations are aligned with members’ existing transport, land use and housing plans, as well as stakeholder priorities.
  • 80% Politely smiling as angry residents scream at you in public forums and town halls.


What are your dream post-ac jobs? (non academics’ ideas welcome)

Published by mattdpalm

Doctoral Student UC Davis USDOT Graduate Eisenhower Fellow 2014-2015

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